Maniacal cackle

Yesterday was a solidly good day. I daresay, great. I am learning about where I am at in all of this, every day, and yesterday was revelatory, too.

I was able to just let go, be in the moment, and laugh. I don't think N and I have laughed that much in weeks. I certainly haven't. There were times when I could feel myself wanting to just push the funny a little further, so I could keep feeling it, but into weird places that would have just been awkward. When the joke's over, the joke's freakin over, and stop trying to breathe life into it! Fortunately I think I caught myself in time so I didn't look like an idiot, but whatever. Sometimes you gotta be the idiot.

He hurt his foot jumping over a railing and had to take him to urgent care. I saw him power-down like a little battery being sucked dry after the olanzapine. I don't like it, but I'll take it over the alternative, at least for now.

The psychiatrist decided not to see us, so even though I made four weeks of appointments, he apparently changed them to the new guy that's coming on. I'm ready to have a provider that doesn't skeev me out the way Dr. G did. (Did I write about him? *shudder*)

I'm ready to have another good, happy, relaxed day today. I'll take whatever comes. Resiliency is built in the in-between moments, not in the times of stress. I bounce back like a motherfucker.